I Will Never Break That Promise
by Stormer
Summary: She is forced to put the White Tower before her doting family members. In the aftermath she finds that she has come to hate the Tower. It is not her home anymore.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Oops!! ElfIcarii was right, I forgot to put a disclaimer in *g* It should be obvious but, anyway, I do not own WoT, didn't invent the land or the types of people or anything. All the characters in the following story are my original creations, however they only exist because of the wondrous Robert Jordan and the awesome world he's given us WoT fans :) Please do not sueth me, I am pooreth and RJ is richeth *G*

**I Will Never Break That Promise (1)**

Aloris Sedai hastened down the hallway, hoping to be back at her room before Loran arrived. She wasn't looking forward to this encounter, but she had to face what was coming. It was a simple fact she found difficult to swallow.

"Aloris Aes Sedai," squeaked a novice who had appeared suddenly from around the corner. "Thank the Light I found you! I have messages for you."

Aloris glided to a halt and let a slight frown mar her forehead. "Messages? From whom?"

"They arrived by pigeon not an hour ago, Aes Sedai," the novice piped, her great green eyes seeming impossibly round. "Here you are." She curtseyed deeply after dumping a small cloth bag in Aloris's hands.

"Thank you, novice," Aloris said, and added, "you may now return to your duties."

The novice scurried off, trying to hide the curiosity in her eyes, and Aloris watched her until she had rounded the next corner and disappear. Then she hesitated, eventually deciding to head to the Blue Ajah Tea Room instead of back to her room. There was no need for Loran to see the messages until Aloris had determined the degree of their importance. Aloris would be late for their meeting, but she decided that it did not matter – the messages could be more important by far than Loran-related annoyances.

She hurried down the hall in the opposite direction from that in which the novice had gone, wondering what else could possibly happen to confuse her plans for the day.

The door to the meeting room had been firmly closed for over an hour, but now it burst open abruptly, emitting a dishevelled Aes Sedai into the hallway.

Cariana Sevine slammed the door behind her and staggered down the corridor, gasping for air. She ignored the strange looks she got from other sisters and understudies as she passed. She had just been hit with the heaviest sledgehammer blow she had endured in her entire career as Aes Sedai. She was still winded from the impact, so that the despair had not fully sunk in yet. 

She finally made her way outside, where she stood wavering and gulping in the fresh morning air. The coldness rapidly cleared her head and she abruptly realised that was the last thing she wanted. A clear head made way for understanding. She did not want to understand anything, least of all the reality of what they had just done to her. 

The last thing she wanted was to be able to contemplate the task she had been set.

Back in the meeting room, debate was surprisingly unheated. 

"We need that support," Verena said for the third time within twenty minutes, as if trying to justify what had just happened. "If she is not up to it, we will do it some other way…but we need that support." 

Dayla shrugged in discomfort, profoundly aware of the empty space two chairs to her right where Cariana had sat until mere moments ago. The silence was oppressive. 

"Why did it have to be her?" she asked. "I know that she is the best equipped of any of us to navigate the way through the castle…but…"

"Is it wise to have an unfit woman take charge?" That was Coral Emeran, finishing the sentence Dayla had started. It was the question everyone wanted an answer to – no one more so than Cariana, undoubtedly. The poor woman had fled, stricken, as if they had moved literally to stab her in the back. The memory plagued Dayla, as did the knowledge of what she would have to do later on today. 

"You will meet her?" Aloris asked, as if reading Dayla's mind and trying to remind her of her duty, just in case.

"Yes, yes," Dayla replied irritably. "I know my duty. I assume you know yours." 

Loran Sedai rose to her feet before anyone else could speak, looking pointedly at Dayla as she said, "The meeting is closed. All are dismissed." 

Dayla wasted no time escaping, and made immediately for Cariana's rooms.

She waited all day for Cariana, and saw not one glimpse of her. _How dare she do this to me?!_ she raged inwardly, feeling it trying to choke her. She had long struggled with that rage, fully realised for the first time in the aftermath of her Accepted's test. Her discovery of her true self that day had left very few thankful. Dayla Mronias had a frightful temper. 

Strangely, Cariana was one of the few individuals who could never incite Dayla to violent anger, despite being one of those who most greatly irritated her. Cariana knew all Dayla's buttons, and never hesitated to push those that would better serve her purpose, or that of the Tower as a whole. Dayla had never been able to truly resent the woman for her lack of scruples. _She means well_, she told herself repeatedly, though she knew that was not it either. Most Sisters meant well, as far as Dayla knew. She never made excuses for them. It was only Cariana, Dayla's best friend and sole confidante. 

_And she is five hours late!_ Dayla clenched her hand around the pitcher handle, having to force herself not to hurl it across the room. 

She made herself sit and wait it out, knowing it must not be too long now.

As it turned out, the wait was long indeed. Cariana never showed up. Dayla woke early the next morning, having returned to her rooms rather late at night without speaking to Cariana. The first thing she did was order a new pitcher to replace the one she had broken last evening. 

Then she went in search of Cariana Sevine. 

Cariana ducked into the shadowy hallway, hastening along at a pace unbefitting of Aes Sedai. She only went this fast because she knew no one was about to see her, at least not underlings. She saw other sisters here and there, though thankfully no one she was trying to avoid. She just wanted to get to her room and be alone. She needed time to prepare herself mentally, before beginning to pack. 

She did make it to her room unseen, but she shouldn't have underestimated Dayla's resolve. The woman waited inside the room, seated daintily on Cariana's only wooden chair. When Cariana slipped into the room, watching her back instead of the space before her, she rose swiftly and spoke. 

"There you are. I was wondering." 

Cariana started and leapt about, her wide eyes narrowing as they fell on Dayla. "How dare you enter my room without my permission?" she hissed. 

Dayla tugged on her shawl, and Cariana noticed other signs that the woman was extremely agitated. Not to mention infuriated. Cariana hastily donned a cloak of caution, wanting to avoid angering Dayla further if she could. 

"You have a duty, and so do I! I believe that Tower law takes precedence over those laws that go unspoken, do you not?" 

There was a wryness in her voice, and Cariana was reminded of her Oaths, just as Dayla wanted. The Oaths were spoken aloud, and in the end they were all that mattered. That was the idea, anyway. Cariana sighed and shrugged out of her cloak, folding it and laying it on the bed. "You always were too wise…"

"I am furious!" Dayla snapped, for once speaking the obvious. She wasn't the type of woman to do that. 

"I noticed," Cariana responded, gambling on the strange affection the other woman felt for her that allowed her to get away with more than most other sisters. "But you ought to have asked where I have been before leaping to conclusions. Then again, you have always been a little overhasty." 

Dayla glared at her more fiercely than she could ever remember her doing in their entire history. "You must leave in two hours' time! I was expecting you to ask some advice of me, and others, before departure. But I suppose you are absolutely confident of your own abilities. You no longer need us, or our approval. Do you forget that this is a team effort?" 

Cariana's own fury seemed ready to engulf her then. She wanted to grip Dayla's face and scratch with her fingernails. She wanted to tear at her _own_ skin until she was unfit for service. She could hardly believe she had been talked into this farce, but the fact was, she had agreed to take part. She had agreed to take the most _crucial_ part, actually. It was her duty, to the Tower and to her sisters, to betray not only blood kin but also former allies. Dayla was largely responsible for landing Cariana this role. She had _recommended_ that Cariana be approached. 

"I have forgotten no such thing," Cariana replied, her voice dangerously quiet. She moved over to the desk where the water pitcher stood collecting beads of water on the outside. "In fact, I have just paid Master Lundrin a visit." 

Well that gave Dayla pause. And so it should! _If you do not trust me, why did you nominate me for this accursed duty?_ Cariana asked silently, knowing there was really no need to ask aloud. 

"I see…" Dayla murmured, tugging at her shawl with a little less gusto. 

"Do you?" Cariana paused, letting the water pitcher hover in mid-air where she had lifted it. After a moment she wafted it over to where she could take hold of it. Then she swivelled her head to stare at Dayla intensely. "I was asking _his_ advice, as a matter of fact. I wanted to know which horse to take for a quicker journey. Whether he could arrange my food for me. If he had anyone in mind for a bodyguard." 

Dayla looked troubled, but Cariana wasn't sure why – there were so many possible reasons. "You would take no more than one of course," was the first thing she said in reply. Cariana fumed, but did not let her anger show. Or hoped she didn't. _Is that all you can say?_ she snapped silently. Dayla sighed, and added, "I do apologise," almost as if reading Cariana's mind. She said it very quietly, so that Cariana barely heard it. 

"I expected no less," Cariana said, pouring a glass of water for herself. She did not bother to pour her friend one. It was a mark of how angry she was. If Dayla noticed, she did not let it show in her expression. 

"I am sorry, for more than one reason." Dayla was obviously reluctant to add that last, but she did it. 

Cariana saw it in her friend's eyes then. She was torn between staying angry and letting her heart melt. She soon gave in to the latter. "Dayla, I understand. It was your duty. You chose the person you thought was best suited." _You chose me, the woman who knows them best; the woman who knows their nuances, their weaknesses, well enough to bring them to their knees. And destroy them if necessary_. That was what being Aes Sedai was about. There was no compromise, not if it endangered the Tower. Women made sacrifices. They went so far as to betray family, and even to trick and trap fellow Aes Sedai. That was that. 

"I did. I truly did." Dayla sounded like she was begging now, although she certainly didn't look like it. "You are our last hope." 

"And I may fail yet." There. It had been said out loud, the thing that everyone feared. Cariana was not about to pretend she had more chance of success than she did have. Things were extremely precarious. It would only take one tiny slip for everything to come crashing down around their heads. Matters were in a fine balance, and it was up to Cariana, a human being, if an Aes Sedai, to make sure that they stayed balanced. _Oh, Light, how did it come to this?_

"We must not speak of such things," Dayla said hastily, twitching uncomfortably. "If you will allow it, I would be pleased to help with final preparations." 

Cariana had expected no less of Dayla. _Should I be grateful?_ she asked herself. She really had no answer. All she knew was that she must take what she could get. The aid of a best friend was not to be forsaken due to a personal conflict. 

"Will you organise some substitute tutors for me? I must have novice Fire and Spirit lessons covered. In the meantime, I need to pack." 

Dayla nodded, murmuring, "Of course. I was already thinking of Accepted Mildren for Fire." Cariana did not bother to nod, for Mildren was the obvious choice. Mature, able, and patient. Perfect, almost more so than Cariana herself, who was the most renowned Fire teacher the Tower had seen in thirty years. "And perhaps Darielle for Spirit. Or Linden?" 

"Do not burden Linden further." Cariana thought for a moment before adding, "It is up to you. I have no time to think of it, that's why I asked you to take care of it." 

Dayla nodded and smiled slightly. Before rising, she met Cariana's gaze. The two women shared a brief moment of pause, in which their faces reflected the affection they felt for each other.

When Dayla had left, Cariana took one more sip from her glass before setting about packing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** Continued at long last. So sorry for the wait! I just didn't get around to this. Had it sitting there, just didn't upload it.

* * *

Andrella could barely sit still, but it was her duty as a Lady of the House to uphold the image that became women of her rank. She was squirming on the inside, but outwardly she was calm and reserved, her face smooth. Only those very close to her noticed the fine sheen of sweat that covered her brow, and the brightness in her eyes that revealed her great excitement. She managed quite well for one who had just learned that her long-absent favourite cousin was returning home for a visit.

"We will insist that she stay a few days, at the least."

That was Lady Rianne, Andrella's mother, who could barely walk these days. The Head of House Rosande, Rianne stood with her eldest daughter, Andrella's sister Berissa, near the doorway, conversing quietly. Not quietly enough to prevent Andrella from overhearing, of course.

"Wonderful!" Berissa gushed, belying her years with her youthful exuberance. Rianne did not look pleased that even now, Berissa allowed herself such a lack of constraint, but for once she refrained from chastising her daughter. "I can scarcely wait!" Berissa added. "Why ever did she stay from us so long, mother?"

"I know not, young daughter," Rianne replied, fluttering her scented handkerchief lightly in front of her face. It was really all that she was capable of, although she did manage to stand on her own two feet. Rianne was nearly ninety-eight years old. "But we will remedy that wrongness upon the girl's arrival."

_The girl_, Andrella murmured inwardly. Cariana must be at least eighty by now. Cariana wasn't sure that she would look it, though. The Aes Sedai they had in the castle at present were all smooth-faced, even though some had Grey hair. One, a woman whose head seemed too heavy for her neck, had snow-white locks that she allowed to fall loose – she was Green Ajah, apparently, although Andrella was not sure if that was supposed to mean anything special.

"I cannot wait!" Berissa cried, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. Andrella couldn't help but grin widely, although that was nothing beside the squeal Berissa loosed next. That was, of course, going too far, and Rianne reminded Berissa of that before demanding that she stand up straighter. _Little changes around here_, Andrella thought wryly to herself. They were nearing the end of _their_ lives, and were still chastised regularly by their elderly mother.

Andrella stared down at her wrinkled old hand, sighing a little wearily. The day had only just begun, and she was already half worn out. But nothing could sink her good mood, when she knew what the coming week would bring.

* * *

Meiora Sedai brought a hand across her forehead, smoothing the annoying fringe away at least momentarily. It would be back soon enough, she knew. She ought to have never let Chenane cut her hair for her. She now felt as great a fool as she looked, although other sisters were careful not to say so – in her hearing, at least.

Just as Meiora was starting to wonder about her sisters' absence, the door opened to admit the first two. Dianis and Chenane entered, lazy smiles on their faces that were only present because no one else was around to see them. These women were two of the coldest, most distant people when not in the presence of teammates, insofar as this group of rag-ends could be called a team. This was a chance for all of them to relax, at least a little. The Lady Rianne had been happy to house them for a few days, while they undertook their enquiries. Their real reason for stopping here was actually to regroup, but the Lady Rianne was not aware of that.

"I trust you two are making the most of this opportunity?" Meiora said immediately, smiling slightly as the two women's gazes fell upon her. Dianis nodded gracefully as she and Chenane took seats, wafting tea cups, the teapot and the little milk jug over in order to prepare themselves drinks.

"Indeed, we are. Chenane took a horse ride, and I took a moment to explore the township a little." Dianis had prepared herself a cup of tea in no time, and now gave it a quick zap to heat it.

Meiora raised a brow. "Fortunate for some."

Chenane frowned a little. "You know that we take turns, Meiora. Next you will have a chance to do what you like, while Dianis or Tilana or I will be stuck indoors waiting for…what was it again?"

Meiora was about to make a sharp reply when a third sister slipped into the room. Ronele Egrend was a relatively young Blue with a temper to suit a Green or a Red. That temper had been tweaked by something, apparently. The woman's blue eyes were flashing dangerously as she swept in and took a seat, seeming to make it all one smooth movement.

"We have a problem," she said even before she had settled herself completely.

Meiora's heart twinged, and she leaned forward ever so slightly. It was Chenane who said, "Go on."

Ronele clapped white-knuckled hands together. "We are alone now, but it will not remain that way long. Does anyone remember Cariana Sevine?"

The question was tinged with sarcasm. Meiora wanted to gasp out loud, but all she did was nod slightly. The other women in the room were white-faced, and she imagined she herself must resemble them in that much.

* * *

Cariana walked the halls of the old, familiar castle, knowing that had she been an ordinary woman in this awkward position, she would have been overwhelmed already. The tears would have begun flowing from the moment she stepped inside the castle, if not before. She may well have crumbled to the floor in a snivelling heap already. But she was not ordinary. She was an Aes Sedai of the Grey Ajah, and she was here to do her job.

Or, a twisted version of her job, at least. This entire exercise put a sordid slant on the whole notion of Grey Ajah peacemaking. This was what the Greens usually did, wasn't it: used violence to earn an eventual peace? Today it was one death for another life. Spare this one, and give me that one. Cariana wouldn't even be making the demands. She would be slyly manipulating, twisting, burrowing…and striking when the moment was right. She had never thought of herself as an adder, but she was feeling like one now.

They were waiting for her in the sitting room: Rianne, who had been so kind to her, and Andrella and Berissa, who had looked up to her with awe. Her young cousins had annoyed her when they were little girls and she thirteen years older, but she had outgrown that fairly quickly. They had become favourite cousins, at least from a distance. She hadn't been back here in almost half a century. This realisation crashed home as she rounded the corner and caught sight of the familiar carved wooden doors; magnificent doors commissioned by her own father, the former the High Lord of House Sevine. Doors she had stood goggling up at as a child, and which she had not set eyes on for fifty odd years. The sight of them took her breath away momentarily, but she didn't miss a step. Soon she stood before them, and waited as a guard moved forward to escort her in. The doors seemed to read his mind, swinging inwards on well-oiled monstrous hinges to admit him and Cariana.

It took her a moment to locate her family amongst the cluttered room, but soon enough Berissa was rushing down the stairs – rushing insofar as she was able, at her old age – with her arms outstretched, a look of unadulterated delight on her wrinkled face. She engulfed Cariana in an elated embrace, and the Aes Sedai's instincts took over momentarily, causing her to wrap her own arms around her cousin's frail frame.

"Oh, Cariana, I am so pleased to see you again!" Berissa cried, and by the sound of her voice she was crying. Cariana's heart clenched, but she merely smiled slightly and pulled away, meeting Berissa's gaze. She noticed the other two – her aunt and her other cousin Andrella – approaching in the background, a little less enthusiastic than Berissa but still with faces beaming.

It was a joyous reunion, but at no time did Cariana forget what she was here to do. Duty hung over her like a dark cloud, hurriedly swamping any good mood that threatened to rise against it.

* * *

They were on their way now. Cariana expected that her conspirators were waiting somewhere below, even though no word had arrived of any disturbance – if any word did arrive, then something had gone wrong. That was what Cariana could not stand. Having to gamble on assumptions that things had gone according to plan. This was so very delicate.

Earlier they had been sitting with tea cups and honey cakes, and Andrella had asked a question that Cariana had been half-anticipating, yet coming far too close to the truth for Cariana's comfort. _"Tell me, cousin. Why is it that you insisted upon absolute secrecy? Are you on secret business in this town?"_ Andrella had sounded genuinely interested, and Cariana knew that her cousin was utterly unaware of what she said, but Cariana, used to being surrounded by women and men practically drowning in Daes Dae'mar, had wanted to read far too much into the casual comment. It was the paranoia creeping over her, she knew. It didn't surprise her in the least that she was fraying at the edges, when so much depended on her precision.

She had answered the question simply. _"Times are uncertain, my dear cousin. Taking a little caution never harmed anyone."_ That evidently wasn't a lie – at least as far as she believed – since she had been able to say it.

Later she had asked the crucial question, but only after Berissa gave her the lead she was waiting for: _"Perhaps you are aware that we house other sisters here?"_ She had paused and asked, _"How many was it, mother?"_ After a vague answer and laughing comments about how age weakened the mind, Cariana had said, _"I should like to meet with these sisters, for it is quiet likely they have information to share with me."_ She had had to ask that her coming be kept quiet yet again, after Andrella suggested that messengers be sent ahead to give the other sisters warning. The cousins had taken her advice as if she was the wisest woman on earth, and of course she might seem that way to them. They were unaware that she was using them as pawns in the greater scheme, one she would be glad to wash her hands of as soon as possible.

Before that could happen, she must strike. As she and her cousins headed downstairs, to the place where the enemy sisters waited unsuspecting, Cariana imagined what would happen if her co-conspirators were not in position. Precision was everything in a situation where it was not a matter of whether lives would be lost, but of how great the number.


End file.
